My Secret Garden
Part I: Pulling Up Weeds
“My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” Psalm 139
You may have read the title and thought, “what does pulling up weeds have to do with pre-pregnancy preparedness?” Well in gardening, the soil has to be prepared for planting to make room for the new life to flourish. By uprooting weeds we are removing those things that will seek to choke out the very life we are trying to grow. The same goes for pregnancy. As many of us desire to become pregnant (no matter what stage we are in our lives) it is imperative that we get rid of anything that is unhealthy. Therefore, pre-pregnancy preparedness is more than just preparing our bodies for a new life, it is preparing our hearts and minds as well.
The first thing we can do is confess and repent of our personal sins and the sins of our ancestors. Due to the Deuteronomy 28 promises we are plagued by the curses of our ancestors’ sin. These hereditary issues, both spiritual and physical, are passed down genetically through each generation. This is the seed of the weeds that keep reproducing in our lives. When these weeds are not uprooted we learn behaviors and attitudes that contribute to our own sinful nature.
While the choices of our ancestors (even down to our own mothers and fathers) are not an excuse for our own sin, unearthing these weeds can help shed light on unhealthy behaviors in our own lives.
I speak from personal experience. I’ve found that as we begin to uncover our weeds we find all kinds of sinful emotions and actions, even some that seem “right” or “good” at the time.
In the Banah Foundation Class (based on Shew ThySelf-Approved by Morah Yiskah Wells) we learn how to “repent, renounce, and denounce” the very weeds we need to pull up. She reminds us of Matthew 7:21 which speaks of the importance of fasting and praying to deal with our unresolved issues and sin. When we fast and pray we begin to expose unrepentant sins, past traumas and the unforgiveness we have harbored in our hearts. Only once we have identified the root issues can we begin to remove all the weeds that restrict the new life Yahuah intends to bless us with (even life/blessings that are not children.)
While we work on uprooting spiritual weeds it is imperative that we also address physical weeds. Physical weeds are usually just a reproduction or bi-product of the spiritual problems we haven’t dealt with.
Often times the spiritual sins have deep roots but barely bud above the surface. These are those unseen things we try to hide from others and sometimes even from ourselves. The more apparent flowers of theses weeds are the way these sinful issues are exhibited physically in our lives. We can look deep down and see how the roots of both the spiritual and physical sins are connected. Those roots travel within and throughout many parts of our lives affecting our relationships, mental health, and how we view ourselves.
Personally, I was promiscuous as a teen (physical weeds) but what many couldn’t see is that I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts (spiritual weeds.) These issues shared roots of a fatherless upbringing and the hidden shame of being molested as a young girl. I felt unwanted and disgusting. This manifested into feeling unworthy and undeserving of love as an adult.
Maybe you have also had feelings of depression or maybe struggled with overeating. I implore you to address the root. Sisters, we can no longer survive by ignoring the pain of sin in our lives.
Addiction, sexual immorality, anger and even outwardly keeping Torah serve only to aid our sins. These vain things only help the bitter roots grow stronger and deeper. They make them harder to find and more painful to uproot. Through years of striving for obedience to Yahuah, pursuing a deeper relationship with Him and uprooting my own weeds I’ve learned that the road to wholeness is certainly challenging. However, when it’s done in Spirit and in Truth, Yahuah’s way is not burdensome.
So sisters let’s do the work required for spiritual and physical healing as we trust that Yahuah is doing a good work in us. We know that He chastises those whom He loves, therefore we must receive His loving discipline with joy. Always enduring through confession, repentance, renouncing and denouncing our sins. We must remember to die to self daily. It is vital that we uproot those weeds in our lives that we have allowed to grow too deep for too long. As we work out our faith we can meditate on the promises of Yahuah in Isaiah 61.
My Sisters uproot your weeds for we “will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of Yahuah for the display of his splendor.”
Be Healed * Be Renewed * Be Strengthened
Shalom Achoti Sharah the Yaladah
My Secret Garden To Do List: Pulling up the weeds in our life can be hard. So where do you start? Here are some practical ways you can begin to identify your weeds.
- Register for the Banah Foundations class and get Shew Thyself Approved by Morah Yiskah Wells this will help you go into greater detail on how to begin to deal with these issues as you grow in your Hebrew faith.
- Journaling ~ keeping a journal of writings, doodles, feelings, thoughts, encouraging words and scriptures can help you zoom in on any repetitive feelings or issues.
- Take time to list any sins you struggle with or issues you know you deal with. Ex. gossiping, vanity, arguing
- Record any past traumas ~ how you felt as well as how it has affected your life up until now.
- Begin to notice when you become upset, angry, bitter etc. Journal those moments and what triggered them and what you did to cope with those feelings. i.e. eating, tv, sex etc.
Secret Gardeners Meditation: After you’ve completed the “The Secret Garden To Do List” read, study, & meditate on Psalm 51. Pray and record/journal the things (weeds) you need to confess and repent of. Then read, study, & meditate on Isaiah 61. Pray and record/journal how the passage speaks to you, any specific verse or words that stick to you and how this passage will aid you in taking better care of your “garden”.
In the next article of The Secret Garden: Pre-pregnancy Preparedness Series – Part II: Tilling the Soil ~ Developing Pre-pregnancy Spiritual & Physical Disciplines we will talk about developing biblical and practical ways to care for our garden.
Photo Credit: Frédéric Bazille – Young Woman with Peonies, 1870